Camp 101: Prepare your child for an exceptional summer

Like us on Facebook www.familytc.com Book your vacation through Family Travel Concierge info@familytc.com or 860-830-4009    By Irina Missiuro

While camp may seem like an indulgence, it is as important as day school attendance when it comes to forming your child’s identity. Summer camp is a worthy investment as it allows children to acquire vital social skills, which will prove useful when they’re older. In addition, children develop a sense of self-respect – they’re away from home, so whatever accomplishments they’ve achieved during the summer are all theirs. Also, by trying new activities and experiences at camp, they are not so wary when it comes to adventure. Furthering their sense of the quest and their readiness to explore is crucial to raising a well-rounded child. Is your child ready for camp? If your child hasn’t expressed any interest in camp, it might be either because he/she is not ready or because the idea hasn’t occurred to him/her yet. Have a conversation, trying to determine exactly how your child feels about the concept of camp. Talya Kalender, Director of Camper Care at Camp Ramah in New England, suggests contacting the camp staff who can help figure out if your child is ready. She says, “If one is not sure if a child is ready for camp, it’s always a good idea to discuss this with the camp that interests you. At Camp Ramah in New England, part of our process is that I speak with families to better understand the child and the concerns the family may have. We believe that camp is a long-term experience and sending a child too early will ultimately not be the right answer. It is much better to wait another year than come and be turned off forever. Every child is unique which is why a personal conversation is important when making the decision.” If, on the other hand, you know that your child is ready, but you’re having doubts that either one of you can handle the separation, be assured that you can. After all, it was probably your child who put the idea of a sleep-away camp into your head, at some point expressing interest. Maybe he/she has been discussing summer options with friends and found out that they love their summer camp? Maybe you have trusted your child more this year and he/she wants to show independence, proving that you didn’t make a mistake by leaving them home alone or by letting them make lunch for the family? Whatever the reason may be, if the child is curious about camp, you should encourage the discussion. The thought of sleeping away from home might seem exciting, but can also be daunting. Why not replicate the experience by arranging a sleepover at a friend’s house or at the grandparents’ place? Granted, it would only be for one night, but it would give your child a clearer understanding of what camp involves – namely, a new place, new rules and new authority figures. If the overnight doesn’t go as planned, don’t give up – continue fitting these sleepover experiences into your child’s schedule until they feel normal and casual. You can start the transition slowly, signing your child up for an introductory program, which many camps recommend. Isaac Mamaysky, Director of Camp Zeke says, “We offer a six-day option at the end of the summer for second through fifth graders. All the other kids go home, and the little guys pretty much own camp and have the time of their lives. It’s an easy introduction to being away from home, and it makes most kids comfortable to come back for a full session next year.” What camp criteria are important to your family? You’ve established that your child is ready for camp, but you’re not certain what kind of camp is best. In addition to traditional camps, parents can now take advantage of specialty camps. Usually, because of the variety of activities they offer, traditional camps are better for first-time campers. However, that doesn’t mean that your child won’t thrive in a soccer camp or an art camp, if that’s the activity they love to do. Rabbi Ami Hersh, Assistant Director of Camp Ramah Day Camp in Nyack, N.Y., suggests that parents should focus on the background of the counselors and directors when choosing a camp. He says, “While many things should go into a parents’ decision about where to send their children to camp, the most important questions they should be asking are about the staff. Quality camps have high-caliber counselors who can serve as dynamic, exciting and cool Jewish role models for campers. Eighteen to twenty-two-year-old counselors are the coolest people in the world to young children. Beautiful facilities, healthy food options, great sports and good communication with families all matter, but top-notch counselors will make the camp experience come alive for children.” Bob Stone, Head of New Camper Recruiting at Camp Avoda, also suggests being very particular about the administration and staff – finding out what their experience and training entail, learning how well they relate to children. He says, “In this day of technology, I would be more concerned with camper to counselor ratio, supervision, amount of down time, programming, and waterfront qualifications.” Stone suggests that other questions parents should ask include camper/parent communication, the staff’s way to resolve potential bullying, and dealing with a child who does not fit in. Rachel Mersky Woda, Assistant Director of Camp JORI, believes that families should feel comfortable with what the camp has to offer their children while they are away from home. She says, “Families should research and choose a camp that reflects their values in terms of community, Jewish engagement and activity.” In addition to typical camp activities, Jewish camps offer kids an opportunity to learn about their heritage, welcoming questions about life in Israel and traditions, such as keeping kosher and davening [praying]. Jewish camp is a great place for kids to celebrate their culture because of the sense of belonging it offers. Children explore Judaism in an environment where everyone is like them – the atmosphere is safe. Campers sing Jewish songs, dance Israeli dances, eat Jewish foods; they are connecting to their traditions, immersed in cultural education. JORI is one such camp; Mersky Woda says, “We hope families will choose a place like Camp JORI where we seek to provide a nurturing environment that encourages children to live, play and grow as a part of a Jewish community.” Previously, families had to choose between sending their children to specialty camps or Jewish camps. Now, because of Foundation for Jewish Camp Specialty Camps Incubator, families can choose Jewish camps offering specialized interests. Since the initiative was started in 2008 with a 10 million investment from the Jim Joseph Foundation, its 2013 evaluation report is able to offer some statistics on how successful the specialty camp incubator has proven so far. According to New Jewish Specialty Camps: From Idea to Reality, “One in three campers report that they are making Jewish activities a more regular part of their lives. A third of campers report that they are becoming more active in their synagogue and local Jewish community because of their camp experiences. Furthermore, nearly half report that they are making decisions based on the camps’ Jewish values, which campers and their parents attribute to camp.” This year, the Foundation for Jewish Camp is launching its second cohort of the specialty camps incubator. They include URJ Six Points Sci-Tech Academy, a science and technology camp in the Boston area, and Camp Zeke, an east-coast based health and wellness camp. Mamaysky sees the newness of the camps as an advantage for first-time campers. He says, “The camp leadership teams have years of experience and tremendous support from the foundations, but the camps themselves are brand new. That means all the kids are coming for the first time and there are no established cliques or friend groups, which makes for a very easy first-time camp experience.” Can your family afford the camp you’ve chosen? To help you pay for the experience, most camps have sizable scholarship budgets for qualified families. Make sure you inquire about the application process. Also, this year, The Foundation for Jewish Camp is introducing a new referral program for first-time Jewish campers. BunkConnect helps you find your ideal camp by offering introductory rates, which range from 40% to 80% off the listed rates, to income-eligible families. So far, more than 35 camps across the Northeast, New England and Mid-Atlantic are participating. You can choose to receive financial assistance either through BunkConnect or through One Happy Camper $1,000 incentive grant, which is not need-based. Unlike BunkConnect, which matches eligible families with participating camps, One Happy Camper allows parents to choose the camp and the session. Use the Foundation for Jewish Camp’s handy search tool as a starting point: jewishcamp.org/find-camp Does your idea of the camp correctly reflect the experience your child will have? This might come as a shock, but current camp is not what it used to be when you, the parents, were a campers. Yes, the basic idea is still the same – communal living, sharing, daily schedules and socializing in a natural setting. Yet, there’s now more emphasis on safety  (children are under constant supervision), on individuality (kids are encouraged to be true to themselves) and on novelty (campers now engage in activities such as go-carting and ropes courses). For Hersh, a successful day at Camp Ramah is one that ends with the children being dirty and tired, while feeling great about themselves. He elaborates, “Dirty and tired because an active day outside playing sports, swimming, dancing, running, learning and playing with friends will do that to you. Feeling great about themselves because everything we encourage in our immersive Jewish communities will lead towards just that.” The best way to gage the true feel of the camp is by visiting it. Ideally, you’d start thinking about the prospect the summer before the actual stay. Schedule a tour and walk around the grounds, seeing campers and counselors in action. Ask many questions – don’t be afraid to sound ignorant – you are there to gain as much information as possible. After all, your child will be spending at least a month there – you should feel comfortable about the institution to which you’re entrusting your child. While at the camp grounds, ask a counselor if your child might have an informal conversation with one of the campers, providing your son or daughter is open to the idea. You both may learn something that is not in the brochure and that the counselors haven’t mentioned – what’s important to kids is often overlooked by adults. Mamaysky also encourages parents to take the initiative to learn as much about their child’s prospective camp as possible. He says, “While some families just sign up for camp, many others call me to ask questions, schedule a home visit, or actually come see the camp. When parents take a tour, I don’t just show them various buildings on the site – I tell them a story about what happens in those buildings and how each day looks at camp. After having a conversation with me by phone, meeting me in person or seeing the camp, families have a much better sense of what to expect.” How do you deal with homesickness? It’s inevitable that your child will feel homesick at camp and important to prepare him/her for the emotion. Have a plan of attack ready – tell your child to engage in a specific activity whenever the feeling strikes. Maybe s/he could spend some time writing you a detailed letter or playing with a toy/object brought from home? Anything that could temporarily satisfy the craving for home is helpful. Usually, children feel that way when they’re undergoing adversity – maybe they had a fight with a friend or didn’t get to engage in a desired activity? If that’s the case, encourage them to seek help from a counselor, who’d be able to guide them to feeling better by temporarily filling a parent’s shoes. Mamaysky shares, “One of my mentors recently observed that homesickness might be something different than what we think. At first glance, it appears that a camper misses their parents. When you dig deeper, homesickness might mean that a camper isn’t having all their needs met in the camp community. Sometimes kids just need a little help connecting with their bunkmates and, suddenly, the homesickness goes away. The key is to find a camp with staff you connect with and trust to address these types of issues right away.” One solution to stay away from is offering to pick them up whenever they feel homesick. That will only teach them that they can’t get past a hard time without your help. Allow your child to show you and him/herself that he/she can rely on his/her own self to battle a bad mood and win. This way, the child will grow in confidence, an important quality to nurture. What concrete steps can you take to prepare your child for camp? • It’s important for your child to feel that he/she has a say about what clothes and belongings to take to camp. This way, the child doesn’t feel that he/she has to relinquish all control. • If you usually make the child’s bed and fold the child’s pajamas, encourage him/her to take on these tasks because that’s what will happen at camp. • If your child gets help with personal hygiene routines, such as hair washing and styling, supervise him/her performing these routines on his/her own, offering pointers and advice rather than physical assistance. Resist the urge to step in and get the job done yourself – instruct them until they catch on. • To get into the habit of being neat, ask your child to start keeping track of his/her belongings and toys – putting them away after use, keeping them tidy. • Teach time management to your child – at camp, he/she will not have as long to get ready as at home. • Make sure your child practices good table manners so he/she doesn’t have to be embarrassed in the dining hall. • Address any possible concerns your child might have calmly and rationally. Talk about anything that’s bothering them, explaining why they shouldn’t worry. If your authority is insufficient in the matter, offer to get in touch with a staff member at camp to alleviate any fears your child might have. • Mark all of your child’s belongings with his/her first and last name – either in magic marker or by sewing on a label. • Stick to the packing list the camp provides to avoid forgetting useful items and packing possibly forbidden ones, such as gum, pocket knives and pricy valuables. • If your child wears glasses, it might be a good idea to have him/her bring an extra pair, in case one break. • Tell your child to have a blast!